hello, about me

As I sat staring at a blank page looking for the right words to describe who I am and what purpose I hope this space will serve I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. I hadn’t looked at myself, I mean really looked at myself in quite a while. I got up and moved closer to the mirror to take a good gander. I saw some new lines around my eyes that weren’t there before. Upon further inspection I noticed quite a bit that was new, yet I recognized an expression that I hadn’t seen in such a long time but had hoped would return. A smile formed, a real warm genuine smile, gapped teeth and all that seemed to glow as I became acquainted with my older visage. And although there is more age visible, I feel younger and freer in my spirit. Beaming through this newly discovered age, I can see my younger self, so much clearer and present. The me thats always been in there. I had always assumed to be an adult was to be poised, polished and serious. All buttoned up, a perfectly curated bouquet. However, I have never felt like a rose, with its expected grace and beauty. I am a wild weed. One that endures, and grows in unexpected ways and places. The flower that grabs the heart of the child, that they so sweetly deliver, as a token of love.

Something happened when I turned 40. I simply did not care anymore about the majority of things that plagued me in early adult hood. Perhaps this was due to the combo of love, therapy, wisdom, and just being so tired of allowing other things to control me. This new understanding has allowed my wild feral childhood spirit to emerge. The uninhibited joy for life, for the everyday, for the ordinary that once came so naturally. The process over the finished product. Let loose to explore, create and reject values and expectations that weren’t mine to begin with. I spent too many years hiding, being small until I was almost lost to myself. Integrating this spirit with the wisdom of my age is exhilarating. I can feel the threads untangle, and all of the pieces finally lock together. It’s a big deep sigh, a sinking into oneself with complete confidence knowing this is me, this is right.

I am a mother, wife, daughter and sister. A loyal friend, mess maker, painter, writer, creator. Someone who loves world building and getting lost in imagination. Who sees a whole story unfold in their mind just watching sunlight slice through the trees on a crisp fall morning. A daughter of Eastern Kentucky, who loves being barefoot and could eat biscuits and gravy for every meal. A woman who can still be young at heart, but is happy to see a little wisdom in her appearance, and looking forward to gaining more.

My creative work is in service to the child, my own children, my inner child, and to anyone who needs a reintroduction to theirs. I have learned over my 40 odd years, that its often moments from my child hood, or navigating parenthood where the truth lies. Where our values were born or the ones we adopted that no longer hold truth. We can learn how to go forward in the world, without loosing ourselves to the grind and gloom that so often comes with adulthood. I now understand that expression is a vital necessity to move through life. And that the only person who decides what I believe is me.

My art and writing come from different parts of my life and experience, some from harder times and others from a more joyful, passionate place that feels authentic to my spirit and restorative to my being. All valid, all me.

I intend on sharing it here in this space. A broad spectrum of writings, art, processes, pondering and experiences. Moments that earned me these new wrinkles under my eyes, and stories that preserve the youthful spirit that resides in us all.

When I look at this aging reflection relief washes over me as I recognize the person I have been longing to see all these years. “Oh…….oh there you are!!!!”